We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize