don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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