I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize