i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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