you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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