she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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