Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize