So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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