Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize