You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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