How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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