i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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