Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Did I show you my penis last night?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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