the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize