don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize