We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
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im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
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Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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