just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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