come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize