I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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