Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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