Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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