careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
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I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
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We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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