Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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