I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize