You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We need to get me chipped asap
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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