That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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