Pants 0. Shit 1.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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