chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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