Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize