Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize