I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
sex in a hospital.. check
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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