On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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