So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
did i just pee glitter
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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