I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize