dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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