Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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