dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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