Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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