It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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