I cannot find my penis.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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