so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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