i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize