I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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