when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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