Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize