TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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