omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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