I'm so fucking centered right now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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