my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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