They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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