i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize